bounce bounce and bounce

I apologize for my lack of blogging. I just realized that I haven’t blogged for about 2 weeks. WELL, in those two weeks, I got hecks of experiences. You guys all know those scenes in cartoons and movies where you walk by the sidewalk, and get splashed from head to toe by cars?

yeah like this.

I had one shared together with Kats. HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! good thing it wasn’t from head to toe but just the bottom-half. BUT STILL. WET. JEANS. IN RAIN. (even with an umbrella) WALKING. FROM HOUSE TO MAGISTRATE COURT TO SCHOOL TO PHILS EMBASSY AND BACK HOME AGAIN. Usually I won’t complain, but the rain has placed a damper on my mood that day plus WET JEANS AND SLIPPERS.

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I WANTA LEARN HOW TO DRIVEEEEEEEE! AND GET A FREAKING CARRRRRRRR!!! :S

-____________________________-”

BUT! despite the rain and my ranting, i got to eat all the way. bought chips and hot milo from first emp for the journey. AND AND. when me and kats went to the court to do our papers and those official shiz, we sat there waiting for our turn and all around us were adults. Hahahahahhaa! Felt really grown-up without mother around.  *GRINS* XDDDDD

other than that, i’m just around the house doing..ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. it’s only the piano, tv and computer keeping me company these days, other than my family. but other than that, NOTHING. i got sooo bored that i painted my nails one colour and taking it off once it’s done and putting on another colour. some days, i would open a book and read, then sleep. Eat. I think I have learnt to become a piggy myself. :3 thought of writing a song bout my boredom but nahhh..words don’t come easy to me as melodies do. guess i’ll have to work on that.

People have been leaving me behind. WHY MAY? WHY CIN? WHYYYY WHYYYYY? :’(((( sighhh. gonna miss them sooo much! been through a lot together these years, haven’t we? I pray that we have the chance to meet again in the nearest possible future! Till then, let’s work hard to achieve our goals and dreams. (and avoid those bets. )

missing you guys already.

i haven’t played an ounce of b-ball till today. feels good to finally sweat and run around here and there. downside to that is MY ALL-TIME FAVOURITE GREEN PAIR OF SLIPPERS BROKE! both of them. :’(( i put really high respect for those slippers cuz they’ve been with me for 2 years i think. or less than that. i practically wear them to almost everything, except events where it aynt appropriate. so yeahhh. lots of memories with them. RIP dear green slippers of mine. (((

applied for that consumer fair thing. $50 a day plus commission for 4 days. Pray we got in. *crosses fingers*

what have you lot been up to? x)

I wonder why i always blog at the most outrageous times of the night. Well now may not be late for some people But it is late for me. And for mother. HAHAHAHA! Well, the night is the only time where i am sane enough to think things through. And also a time for me to tell my body to rest. But sleeping right is far, far away from my to-do list right now. Now I just want to blog.

It has been 4 days since I lost another loved one. Well technically he’s not dead, he’s just not here. Somewhere where I’m not. He’s miles and miles away. And yes, I’ve been bawling my eyes out and crying myself to sleep, waking up the next morning feeling totally good and chirpy, forgetting that I’ve cried for hours the previous night. And this routine repeats. Really weird but that’s what crying does to me. So far, nobody has seen me REALLY bawling my eyes out. You wouldn’t want to see me. To me, crying is somewhat like a weakness and I feel totally vulnerable. Which is why I don’t wanna cry in public. I hate losing control of myself.

That being said, I think I did a pretty good job not tearing up when we sent him off at the airport, although deep inside, I’m an unimaginable wreck. Yes, I’ve loved the person but sometimes, you gotta learn to let go when the time’s right for your sake. Coz sometimes you just get tired of holding on and can just fall when you least knew. Might as well let go of that rope and fall knowing. That way you expect the hurt. Which will hurt less than done the other way. Mehhh..this emo shiz is so not me but we got part of ourselves that we aynt proud about.

One thing I know for sure, I’m gonna miss him like crazy.

Being at the airport, sending him off, got me into thinking that I will be in the same situation 2 months from now. Sometimes, you just can’t help thinking whether you mean anything to anybody. I can’t imagine leaving Brunei and actually staying, studying and living someplace else. But the thought excites me. Starting your life in someplace new, a blank, clean slate with no strings attached. Yes, I’m ecstatic to start college life. But starting my new life in someplace new alone is not something i consider very comforting. I’m gonna be leaving everything I hold dear. Guess I might as well just dress as a samurai to prepare myself for battle! xD

I NEED TO FIND A FREAKING JOB! I am restless at home and since I aynt going to school, it has been a unanimous vote that i am now the housekeeper of this household. It’s not that I’m complaining about chores. It’s just that when you’ve done everything, you just sit around with nothing left to do. Even the internet now bores me. SOMETIMES! and not too mention I need the freaking money. I just want to buy stuff through my efforts and not ask all the time.

I feel like I’m supposed to be in the Phils right now, taking them exams, learning the roads and meeting enw people. But that just have to wait won’t it?

oh! did i mention i bought Tempted? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! xD

I was actually saving this for next month but heck. Read the cover. TEMPTED! >:D

(this is basically the 6th book. first 3 available in the school library. the other 2 is with me. if you wanna read through the comp that is )

Nights!

Mehhh. I have been coughing for days liaoooo. Feels like there’s sand in my throat. i just want it to stop. i can’t even talk without coughing na. Guess its beneficial for a few people. HAHAHA! but im getting better i guess i just need yakapsul or ‘aspirin’ to make it better

I haven’t been online for days now. Even facebook. I don’t find the thrill anymore. HAHA nahhh. its just that i got better things to do i guess. and the internet is not a cure for my new found disease. well maybe blogging is but yahhhh.. i feel lazy to blog sometimes.

somebody’s gonna go on tuesday. HAHAHA! and i thought it was today naman. -,- haven’t seen you for days ba yun? and haven’t talked na for weeks. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU! (((

ima go note now. haven’t done one in a while.

Haloooooo! Christmas is coming bebehhhh!

awwwww… babieeeesss! xD too cute to resist.

Since it’s 3 days till Christmas, i guess it won’t be late if i make my christmas wishlist.

Christmas Wishlist

1. Good health to all my fam and friends.

2. world peace?

3. Good enough results for my O’s.

4. I won’t be late in enrolling for college.

5. A guitar. Electric or acoustic

6. A guitar pic that can never get lost. -,-

7. Clothes

8. Lots and lots of fooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood! :9

9. To go to the beach.

10. A panda.

11. Oh! a doggie! xD

12. Somehow, my broken keypads on my phone would magically be fixed.

13. To be strong no matter what

14. Not lose any loved ones..

well i guess that’s basically it? i don’t know. HAHAHA! some are too personal to post up. Matters of the heart.

2 days, ago. i just came back from a 3 day camp. IT’S BEEN GREATTTT! XDDD for the first time, there aynt any talks. hahaha! very mean lahh me, but a lot of people felt relieved for that. it was more like a really chillaxed camp. no programmes or anything. and we had a lot of fun! doing pizzas in the dark cuz the hall blacked out, running around being chased by ‘zombies’ with water balloons, dancing to that Yasia song (which is kinda addictive ), playing games near the reservoir in tasek lama, sleeping late and waking up early, and blah blah blahhh. it was great funn! not too mention LifeNite rocked! the Seria band as always very satt punya!

Next LifeNite’s gonna be in Feb. Good thing too, cuz im leaving in March. And it’s in Bandar! so yeahhhh at least i got to do something before leaving

I’m bored here at home. RAWR! everytime i wanna go out with my friends, mother says no or nooo muneyyyy.

hi again. just im really bored. and my bro and sis are now awake. sighhh~ there goes the comp. they’re watching the ugly truth though. so that means i have the comp for myself for about 15 mins. listening to christian bautista’s songs right now.

mehhhh! his songs just make me gahhh..melt? xD his voice is just sooo sweet not too mention the lyrics are soooooo nicee! it would be touching if somebody would sing this for me

wonder what took him soooo long?

first off, i wanna start with a song. i go crazy everytime i listen to this song. ehehehe..

FACEDOWNNNNNNNNN!!!

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
One look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I’ll never understand why you hang around
I see what’s going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
Tell yourself it’s never gonna happen again
You cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I’ll tell you my friend, one day this world’s going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
Every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what’s going down.

I see the way you go and say your right again,
Say your right again
Heed my lecture

Do you feel like a man
When you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I’ll tell you my friend, one day this world’s going to end
As your lies crumble down a new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn’t hurt she says I finally had enough..
Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn’t hurt she says I finally had enough..

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
Its coming round again.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I’ll tell you my friend, one day this world’s going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I’ll tell you my friend, one day this world’s going to end
As your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn’t hurt she says I finally had enough..

HAHAHA! going crazy in the room now. weeeeeeeeeeeee! xD

so yeah, this morning i woke up really early. ALL BY MYSELF. at about 6.45am i guess? hehehe. i dont wanna say why. the reason saddens me. just thinking about it makes me go all systems down thing. so no. i aynt gonna think about it now. just hope that it will work out for itself. or something. DAMNNN!

ANYWAYS, these hols have been pretty boring for me. can’t really go out. BUT!  I had bouncer bouncer with me friends last sundayyy! i guess that will probably be the last time ima bouncer in my whole life. cuz there is NO WAYYY people in Phils at my age will go bouncer-ing. sheeeeesh! but if i could go on a bouncer, i would. i don’t care what people sayyy! xD

laturr, ima go to mall and meet up with @leeann92 and @iamemmajames. YESHHH! finally mother said yes! xD chirstmas season is coming but i don’t feel any change. sighhhh.. im not really in the holiday mood right now. problems problems problems :S it is SHETTTTTT baddd. like freaking heck!

one of my fav band and songs now.

bouncer day. twas pretty rough. it seems like we’re total strangers. like not even friends at all. like its back to 3 years ago or something. damn. i don’t like it at all. im sitting here wondering what the hell happened. i really freaking don’t know. don’t want it to be like this

Life just keeps getting better and better..

I can really say for now that when you fall, the best way to get up is to do it yourself and not douse yourself in self-pity. Learnt that the hard way.

just something for laughs.

neways, my night-shift at Giant starts TOMORROW!!! and ends the next morning. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! i don’t friggin’ care if it’s only a day, well technically a night, but it’s still a job where i earn me money meself. weeeeeeeeeeeee!!! xD

can’t really wait. job starts at 10pm till 7am the next day. HAHAHA! it will be a night! not to mention free food. yummmm~ :9

fixed the brother’s broken bed while he went down to play ball. just me and sis hammering away. sighhh~ the world’s upside down these days.

few days ago, RAGEEEEEEEE got to me. not very good. but i’m thankful for that rage. made me clear my head for a moment there. i think i need more rage in my life. wrote a new song thanks to that rage of mine.

may found this fragrance that she thought would be perfect. HAHAHA! i don’t know about the smell but i’m lovin’ the design. xD

just ignore the minute dot there.

okay. i cannot hold my excitement anymore. although it’s still about 3 months away, i still can’t wait to get my butt out of Brunei and start a new life in the Phils. don’t even know why i’m saying this but that’s that. although i will of course miss me fam and friends and all those memories here, i’d say it’s about time i go on a little adventure and make some new ones. i just wanna forget the old memories that hurts that’s all…

GAHHHHH!! i’ve been trying to find over the net for animes and series. but since i got some new DVDs and books, might as well be burrying my nose in them instead going crazy and mad at Google for showing me unsatisfying results. Speaking of results, SHETTTTTT! Olevels gonna come out in mid Jan. totally not looking forward to that. AT ALL. I just pray and cross my fingers that I do well. Least i tried my best.

12933.) I have never wanted to hug someone more than I want to hug you. It’s making me miserable. I thought it was an idea that would just go away … but I haven’t seen you in a while and I still wish you would just stand there with me,let me wrap my arms around you, and then wrap your arms around me.

(via blogsecret)